Down Chanting

Chanting, SGI meditation, provides some psychological effects. For me, really short periods, like a minute or less, serve to remind me of things I know but conveniently forget. For example, I often forget to have confidence in starting things, and a quick burst of chant is enough to remind me to remind myself that I have had many, many successes and should expect another. So I get over the hurdle.

Otherwise, I experience two states in which I chant: one in which I haven't chanted seriously for a long time, and it's something fresh to get back to. This state can last months. The other is when I am down, depressed, facing some unsolved problem with major uncertainties and worries, and need strength to get through it. It is a relief from the anxiety, for the first portion, then after a while, it is a focusing of the mind on how to resolve the problem.

During the first state, chanting is blissful. Why then, does this state come to an end after some months, six or ten or fifteen? Chanting gets boring -- that doesn't explain much to anyone but myself. I get bored with repetition, no matter how pleasant or rewarding it is. Also, outside forces attrit my resolve, as when I am feeling good, I start new things, which take up time, and eventually squeeze down my chanting time, and finally make it disappear. New things aren't boring, and somehow get priority over chanting.

During the second state, chanting is responsive. When the problem is resolved, the pressure is off to chant. It really is a psychological pressure, to seek a solution to a problem. There may be a short tail to my chanting, a few days after the problem melts away, but in this state, chanting also comes to an end - until some other problem rears up.

This is a feeble explanation of why I cannot maintain perfection in chanting, like so many of my SGI compatriots claim to. What do others experience?